Goal Setting/Hope: Achieve Success

Setting and Reaching Goals Article by Dr. Karen Reivich

Every one of us has achieved goals—many goals. And every one of us has not achieved goals—many goals. So, before I suggest a simple goal-setting process that both you and your child can use, I suggest that you first reflect on your past successes and failures with goal-setting and use those experiences for all they are worth. Think about a recent goal that you set for yourself that you achieved and one that you didn't achieve. Jot down your thoughts on the following questions for both.

1. How important was the goal to you? How did your goal fit with what you value in your life?
2. How realistic was the goal? How did the goal match up with your talents, skills and strengths?
3. How specific was the goal? Was the goal clearly defined? Or was the goal vague and hard to succinctly describe?
4. What steps did you mentally outline to help yourself reach the goal? Did you have a clear step-by-step plan in mind? How realistic were each of the steps?
5. What obstacles did you foresee encountering on the way to reaching your goal? What plan did you have in place for getting around those obstacles?
6. What obstacles did you actually encounter along the way? How did you feel and what did you say to yourself when you hit an obstacle? What did you do when you hit an obstacle?
7. Who helped you reach your goal? How did you let this person know that you wanted help? How did you react when this person offered help?
8. How did you feel when you reached the goal?
9. How did you feel when you didn't reach the goal?
10. What are the most important lessons you learned from answering these questions?
11. How can you apply these lessons to your own experiences so that you are more likely to reach your next goal?

There are lots of different approaches to goal-setting. Most approaches, however, highlight similar steps, and I have found in my work with parents and children that the steps reviewed below are the most critical.

1. Set Specific and Measurable Goals.
2. Set Goldilocks Goals (not too hard, not too easy, but just right).
3. Make a Step-by-Step Plan.
4. Anticipate Obstacles and Plan "Walk-Arounds."
5. Talk About It!

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