How to Be a Happier Mom Article by Robert Barnett (from Parenting magazine—January 2007)
Ask a mom if she's happier now that she has a child and she'll usually say yes.
In fact, around the world, children top the list of the most enjoyable things in
life.
But psychologists who study happiness often report a different picture. Being the mom of a young child is rich and rewarding, but also a real strain on your mood. The time you spend taking care of your child may not even be the high point of your day.
The good news for all moms is this: You can learn to focus on the positive—and learn to make it a daily habit.
Here are 8 ways to focus on the positive—for you and your child
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Admit when you're stressed
Ironically, once you stop expecting motherhood to feel warm and fuzzy all the time, life as a mom gets easier. "It really helps to realize that it's okay to feel frustrated, angry, tired, or irritable sometimes," says Peter Ubel, M.D., a professor of medicine and psychology at the University of Michigan. "You're not a bad parent. It's not even a bad parenting experience. It's just normal."
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Get enough sleep
Most of us know that money can't buy happiness, but who knew that a good night's sleep just might?
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(Re)consider your priorities
One key to being in a more positive mood is to structure your day so you do more things you enjoy.
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Go with the flow
Time seems to slow down when you're doing what you enjoy. People who experience this level of engagement (which psychologists call "flow") are happier than people who rarely do.
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Savor the moment
Take time to appreciate the moment. Just map out two- or three-minute activities that you can do to relish that time and notice what's going on.
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Take the long view
Having a sense of perspective will also improve your attitude. If the drudgery is getting to you, think about how empty your life would be without children.
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Reconnect with your spouse
A supportive group of friends and family is one of the cornerstones of a happy life, and for many moms, the center of that social circle is their partner. That's why it's so important to keep the lines of communication open, especially during the stressful "diaper years".
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Say thanks
Feeling grateful is a mood booster. It can be as simple as saying grace every night or finding new ways to acknowledge others.
Feelings like happiness follow thoughts — they don't precede them, explains M.J. Ryan, author of The Happiness Makeover. "I think of happiness as three things—enjoyment, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Mothering can give us any one of those at any given moment—if not necessarily all of them at the same time!"