Our 9-year old son seems immature for his age. When he gets around younger children he tends to act their age rather than his own. What suggestions do you have for helping a child mature? Because he's very tall (5 ft. 1 in) and looks older, his immaturity gets more scrutiny because he appears to be a teenager acting like a young child. How can we help him mature and act more appropriate for his age?
My daughter is struggling with negativity. She has a "glass half empty" mindset only exhibited with her family. At school, I only hear "perfect kid" from her teachers. This is a daily struggle and not in just one particular area. She does not want to go to school or gym but when she arrives she loves it, hates homework, yet when we dig in...she enjoys our time together doing it. Whining/complaining is common. She is in a home where she has family that love & care, needs met, etc. What can I do?
- Pre-K and Younger
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
My daughter is 8 years old and is in grade 3. She is very intelligent but when it comes to writing she is very slow and feels lazy or maybe she is distracted soon at school and comes back with incomplete CW. What to do?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
Any suggestions to deal with my 9 year old who has much difficulty accepting rejection: not getting on patrol not getting parts in play, not getting place on the band. She is very much into acting and singing but gets down on herself.
My son has severe anxiety about going to sleep. The only thing he can say is the monster’s in his head. I have cut video games out 2 hours before bed, TV one hour, then we read the last 30 minutes before bed to relax him. He still wakes up several times during the night and isn't sleeping very well at all. He never seems rested... what should I do to help ease his anxiety?
- Pre-K and Younger
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
My 16-year-old son is extremely shy and introverted. He won't go to the school's homecoming even though he has a safe date all lined up for him! He prefers staying home alone to initiating activities with his friends and very rarely invites friends to our house to hang out. He seems happy enough, but I worry that he's missing out on his high school years. He's a junior at school but has a late birthday for his class.
I have a 5 year old whose catch phrase is, "I can't do it." We have heard it at home and the teacher has heard it at school. Maybe it's because he has grown up in the shadow of a very intelligent older brother, but he seems to lack confidence and be afraid to try new things, especially mental things like letters, words, etc.
When my kids were little I was home full time. Now that they're older (10 and 12) I am back to work. The transition hasn't been easy on any of us. I thought I was managing the dual role well but lately my kids have been complaining that I never spend any time with them. Whenever they say this I feel so guilty and wonder whether going back to work was a big mistake. What can I do to give them the time they want with me and still work outside the home?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
I have a child who performs best when under pressure (or given greater challenges). Does that mean I should "always" try to put him in situations where the bar has been raised higher?
My stepdaughter just came to live with us and she appears to have no boundaries. She takes things that belong to others and claims them as her own. She hoards things in her room belonging to either me or my son. When I asked her if she had seen an expensive item of mine she said no. Later I found it in her gym bag. I feel betrayed. She stole and then she lied. How can I get her to understand that she should not take other peoples' things? Is it appropriate to put a lock on my door?
I am a single mother and my daughter is 4 and she is a very strong-minded little girl. She doesn't listen when I ask her to do something, she is constantly running away from me when we go to the park. What can I do to help this without feeling like I am yelling at her all the time?
My 11 year-old daughter attends a very small girls' school. She's an excellent student and gets along well with everyone in her class and school, including the adults. She is not shy, however she continues to let one of her classmates take advantage of her (i.e., borrows a pen, breaks it, then tells my daughter it's her fault). We have had many discussions with our daughter about standing up for herself, but she continues to let Sally use her. What's going on? Thank you for your advice.
An 8 year old boy has real fear of trying new things. Once in new endeavor, and/or environment he is fine. But before, he won't get out of the car for example. It takes over an hour of coaxing. These are things HE wants to do. How can I help him?
Anger—how to show it healthily and not stuff it then explode.
We have a blended family. My husband has a 9-year-old daughter, and I have two boys ages 10 & 7. The 10-& 9-year-olds get along very well, which leaves the 7-year-old feeling left out. I have noticed that the 9-year-old is unresponsive and never wants to interact with the 7-year-old. He feels left out—which causes some acting out. I discuss his behavior and feelings with him and try to suggest how to deal with the situation. Can you make some suggestions on how we should approach these issues? Thanks.
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
My 2-year-old (member of identical boy twins) hits me whenever anyone tries to hug or kiss me (including my mom, sisters, brother, even his father.) Sometimes the extended family members tease him by hugging me. How should I deal with him? Should I ignore or act out explaining that it's ok? And why do I get to be hit although I'm not the one initiating the hugs?
Every day, my 10 year old comes home and, after a break, goes into her room to start her homework. Inevitably, after just a few minutes, she comes out looking defeated and says, "I don't get it." When I ask her specifically what she doesn't get, she starts to get upset, saying, "I don't get any of it." She gets very sad and often cries. Then she starts to blame anyone she can think of: her brother for bothering her, her teacher for not teaching the lesson in class (which I know she does!) or me for not helping her properly. I believe that she is looking to blame others when she is really just down on herself.
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
My 10-year-old son gets sad when he sees other kids being picked on or teased. I can tell that it really bothers him. Even when he was younger, he would get upset when he saw other kids upset. Sometimes in preschool he would cry whenever another kid started crying. He doesn't cry so much now but I still see that he is easily upset and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want him to be such a "softy". Any advice?
I sometimes wonder if my kids are too resilient when it comes to losses in sports. They don't seem to care that much if they lose a soccer game. Shouldn't kids really want to win and be disappointed (but not despondent) if they don't win?
My daughter always assumes the worst and sees her world as the glass being "half-empty." She just can't seem to recognize all of the good things in her life. Are there any techniques I can use to help her have a positive outlook and to see that her life is really "half-full?"
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
Over the past six months, I have noticed that my little girl, who is now 4 years old, has been picking at her nails. They look as if she has bitten her nails down, but she is just picking the nail away. She is doing this to her fingernails and toenails. Should I be concerned? Do you have any suggestions for me? I try not to draw to much attention to it. I used to bite my nails and the more my mother would say stuff, the more I would bite them. I was a nervous child.
My 8-year-old son is very competitive in all aspects of his life. He plays many different types of sports and excels when he plays. He is also competitive with his schoolwork and games that are played in the classroom. He is not always a good sport when winning or losing. How can I help him be a good sport without squashing his enthusiasm for sports or work in the classroom? What tools could I use when these situations arise?
My daughter seems to blow things out of proportion. She talks in absolutes: "this is the worst thing ever," "I lost the game, I stink," "no one will ever like me." How can I teach her to be more resilient and not to take things so seriously?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
My son wants to try out for the lacrosse team, but he seems to downplay his desire. He says things like, "I don't know if I can do it." How can I encourage him to think and speak more positively, give it his all, and gain the most out of tryouts?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
My son is 13 and started a new school this year. He has not made any friends and I'm concerned. I have tried to coach him in some friendship skills, however he seems to be spiraling downward thinking no one wants to be his friend. He is not real outgoing but had friends at his old school. I know this age is a bit harder but do you have any suggestions for me?
The other night my seven year old daughter screamed that she hates me. She wanted to stay up late to watch a new episode of one of her favorite TV shows and I told her she couldn't. I pointed out that the new episode would air again and she could watch it another time, probably even the next day. I thought I was being reasonable but she just lost it and went on about how mean I am and how much she hates me. I think she was being totally disrespectful and that it's not okay for her to talk to me like that. My husband said she was just mad and blowing off steam and that I shouldn't take it so personally. What do you think? Should I let her talk to me like that?
I was blessed with a wonderful, sensitive son. It breaks my heart to see other boys pick on him. He is 8 yrs old and wears glasses. I'm not certain if the glasses make him a target, but his self esteem has been dwindling in spite all of my efforts. His school does attempt to address bullying, but I must say it is a weak effort. What can I do to help him? My goal is to help him address the boys with confidence and prevent further harm to his self-esteem.
Whining! I need a few tips on how to deal with my now whiny child.
My 6 year old son has had the same best friend since he was 3. They are extremely competitive and get physical. His friend also plays a lot of mind games. Recently after his friend was choking him, my son decided he didn't want to be friends anymore. His mom is one of my good friends so this is awkward. I want to support my son's decision to get out of what I believe is a destructive relationship. It appears it may mean sacrificing my own friendship. Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
I have one son who's 12 years old and in the 7th grade. He has two step-sisters who are 4 & 5 respectively. I know he loves them both dearly, but there are many times when I find him talking to them rudely. I try and explain to him that they are his sisters and he should be good to them, but he seems to listen only for a little while and then starts talking to them in an authoritative way again. I need your advice in what I should be talking to him about regarding this?
My oldest daughter will be 5 in January. She is a reserved child and we have been noticing that she is a real follower with her friends as well as not wanting to try new things. She also tends to have a negative attitude frequently. Overall, she is a happy child and we have a warm, safe family environment. She has one younger sister, almost 3, who is much more outgoing and adventurous. I just wanted to see if you have any suggestions to help her become more positive and outgoing. Thanks.
My husband (soon-to-be ex) states that I am too close to our daughter. Is it possible to be too close to your child? I am very involved in her school and know all of her friends. I encourage her to talk to me about anything. I believe my husband's statement stems from his jealousy of my relationship with our daughter. My intent is to make sure she knows that I am always here for her and I will love her no matter what. Would you provide your insight, please?
My grandson, Dylan, is turning 8 years old next month and today my daughter called to tell me that "Joey" held Dylan down while "Zach" punched him in his nose. Dylan came in crying and didn't know why the boys did that to him. As parents, what do we tell the boys and their parents what their children did...and what do we tell Dylan whose feelings were very hurt?
My son is in kindergarten. He is very smart. He isn't a bully and he doesn't throw tantrums, but he constantly bothers the other kids and makes funny noises. My mom thinks he should see a doctor. Is there any thing I can try to do to help him pay attention more? He needs to listen to the teachers better and just calm down. I would like to do what I can to help him before I consider taking him to a doc. Do you have any ideas for me? He does play a lot with his friends after school. Is this a problem?
My child is just turning 7 in a couple of days. I feel like she is so impatient with me, always. It seems like appropriate tolerance from a 13-year-old. How do I get her to want to talk to me without making her feel guilty or punishing her? I know we cannot always be friends, but I feel as though our relationship is suffering and I am wondering what it is I have done wrong here.
I have a wonderful 2.5-year-old son who speaks clearly, expresses himself, has very good manners and has always enjoyed going to his daycare. Recently my son has been hitting, spitting and kicking other kids at the school (for about 4 months). The teachers and I have spoken about it. They say that there doesn't have to be a reason for it, he'll walk up to a child who is having a snack and just hit him. We try time-outs, taking away toys and nothing helps. The doctor says it's a stage. Is it?
My daughter is beautiful but a little chubby. She is 10 years old and is getting more and more aware and sensitive about her weight. She sometimes gets very upset that she doesn't "look like everyone else." So far, she's still a fairly positive, upbeat, happy kid but I worry if she will stay this way as she gets older and peer pressure intensifies.
I have 13-year-old twin girls who will enter High School next year. There are a lot of things that they will encounter and become exposed to. I don't have a problem talking with them and they share with me their feelings and what they think. They are a little more developed than the girls in their class and it makes them feel uneasy at times. My question is, is there anything I can do to help them feel better about who they are? I would like to give them a boost of self-esteem.
My son is a typical 9-year-old boy. He's active, funny and athletic. However, he has a significant learning disability with reading. His older brothers sometimes tease him when he can't read the directions on a video game. He came home one day very sad and asked me why his brain doesn't allow him to read like everyone else can. How do I make sure he doesn't lose his confidence and continues to view himself in a positive way? How do I stop his brothers from teasing him about his disability?
My son is a "dip your toe in the pool" kind of kid, who takes his time to warm up to new things. My husband is concerned that our son will end up "never taking a swim" without prodding. I think he just needs time to warm up and take it at his own pace. How do we figure out the best way to work together to support our son and give him the encouragement or time he needs to try new things?
We are moving next month to a new town and my 3 children (ages 7, 9 and 12) will be leaving behind all their friends they've spent their childhood with. They will be starting a new school. While I really believe they will love our new home and community once they've settled in, I expect this to be a rough time for us all. How can I help them through this transition?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
My 11 year old son gets very nervous when faced with new experiences, whether they be activities in school, social situations, or just changes from his normal routine. I spend a disproportionate amount of time helping him to prepare mentally for these challenges and work hard to bolster his confidence. In the end, he comes back from each of these new experiences proud and triumphant but cannot carry over that confidence to the next new thing. We are always back at square one again. What can I do to help him move forward with his confidence in new situations?
- Kindergarten - Grade 2
- Grades 3-5
- Grades 5 & Up
Hi, I have a 12-year-old stepdaughter and we do not get along at all. I have been married to her dad for almost 2 years, and with him for about 4 years now. I hate to say this, but she is very spoiled and has everything. I will admit I can be strict and sometimes too hard on her, but she does not seem to listen to her dad or me, and always tells us she won't do what we tell her to do. She is always on the computer or watching TV. She does have ADD, but that does not mean she should disrespect us. Please HELP.